When it’s time for our little girl to go to bed. We sit on her floor, we hold hands, and we pray. This is by far one of the best moments of my evening! I am sure you all can image how hard it is to get a 2 year old to sit still. But, most every night, she sits, takes my hands, and prays. Her sweet, “Amen, ” warms my heart, and brings a spirit of joy at the end of whatever day I may have had. It is in those moments that I find peace, and it is in those moments that I realize that this little girl is our blessing.She is truly our gift from God (Psalms 127:3).
These moments at night help me to reflect on who I am. This little blessing is influenced by me in every way. Every emotion I show, and every word I say in her presence is a moment she will remember or imitate. I’m a reflection for her. A reflection of what she will see a woman as. My actions and mannerisms, though it is cute now when she copies me, will be more permanent as she gets older. These moments at night help me to be a better reflection for her. When we pray, I reset. I reset my thinking, and remove all the negative insecurities that I have let into my mind throughout the day. I remember that God has made me wonderfully in His image, and I say the same words to my daughter.
Sometimes it takes the smallest acts to bring us back to our core. People say that meditation works wonders, and I believe in taking some time to quiet our minds. However, it takes more to overcome insecurities and negative emotions that may present themselves when we least expect it. Knowing that my little blessing is tied to my actions, has helped me overcome most all the insecurities that were once present in my life. I have changed a lot for her, but it was truly for me and my growth too.
Find your little blessings in life that make you feel like your most confident you. It is in the small things that we find our greatness.
I really wanted to have an excuse for a shopping trip this weekend. But, I kept reading and seeing everything under the sun that had to do with family, working moms, becoming a parent, and all those other things that give you warm fuzzy feelings inside – and bring life into prospective. I do not have a clear perspective on life, but I do know that becoming a parent really forces a person to figure out what is really important and what is not. Number One: The child is always the most important! Sounds crazy, because we read and see tons of articles and videos that say take care of you, the marriage, your health, your career, etc. Those things are not wrong. You truly have to take care of you to be the best parent to your child.
I saw a post on LinkedIn by Betty Liu, News Anchor – Bloomberg Television. She wrote about what helps her be a “happy, balanced working mother.” I have read this article at least 5 times since Friday. I keep reading it, because of this one line: “I have near zero guilt about being a working mom.” It just baffled me that someone actually put it out there for people to see. Then, I realized, I totally feel her on this! I wanted to just give Betty the hands raised in celebration emoji x5! If you just saw the sentence without the rest of the article, it may seem so harsh. But, read the entire post, and then you’ll get it (This Crazy Thing Helps Me Be a Happy, Balanced Working Mother)!
I was so ready to get back to work after having our daughter, I was almost ready to run back to work! I even got the, “we weren’t expecting you back for like a few weeks,” from a person at our corporate office. The best me, was and is a career driven me. If I’m not working on something, I kind of feel lost. I’ve since changed jobs, and moved into a role that requires more leadership, more time, and is overall ten times more demanding. And, I did it knowing full well that maybe our future will hold the opportunity for another little one. *gasp! I’m sure there are women that try to plan their careers around their family planning, and sometimes that just can’t be done. We plan, and God is like: “No, I totally have something better for you. But, while it’s happening, you won’t think it was better. But, in the end, you’ll see! Thank me later!”
I am not saying I never have any guilt, but I don’t feel like I have the same amount that I hear women talk about. I love my munchkin, and wouldn’t trade her for anything. She’s really too little to understand now, but as she grows, I do want to explain to her why mommy works. I hope that she feels empowered, and knows the importance of working hard to achieve whatever success she is working toward. I hope that as she grows, she sees that you can truly have the best of both worlds. Sure, there are and will be compromises. But, if you are sure of what you are doing, and are happy in your choices, you will not be left with a feeling of guilt or anxiousness at the end of the day. Side note: acceptance of what is, is a good meditation mantra. If you don’t meditate, try it!
I’m truly grateful. I am grateful that I do have a wealth of resources around me, which make it easier to try to take on the world (my little world). I have a husband who is loving and supportive. We are both just trying to figure it out, and trying to be the best parents we can be. We both have dreams and professional goals. Our baby girl has not one, but two, sets of grandparents within a 15 mile radius. We operate on a schedule. Naps and bedtime are routine. I have learned to relax, and I know for sure that what I do maybe the best to someone, and the worst to someone else – as said in the video in this blog. As with this post, it maybe the best to some and the worst to others. But, I just hope that it puts a working mom’s mind at ease.
There was a point in my life where I became overly concerned with how I came across to other people. I slowly started to adjust my responses to make sure I was not offending. I started over thinking every single word that came out of my mouth to people that really needed no justification of my actions or my life. My life became more difficult, because I was trying to make life less difficult for everyone else. That makes no sense, right? But, who wants to be called mean when you are just straight forward? Who wants to be labeled as difficult, when you simply question the laws that need to be put to the test every now and then? Who wants to be called something that they know they aren’t? I don’t think anyone does, but it will happen. So, when I talk to my daughter later on in life, I imagine I would say something like this:
Everyone forms their own opinion of you whether it is right or wrong. Usually, it takes 30 seconds for someone to form an opinion about someone. It’s hard to agree with opinions, because there is no way we can truly know someone in 30 seconds. These are the opinions that are the hardest to change, and no matter what… that person will think what they think – and feel how they feel.
So, be grateful for the people that have known you for more than 30 seconds of your life; the ones who have seen you at your worst and at your best; the ones who know you at your core, and still love you. Everyone isn’t going to like you, and that is ok. So sleep at night knowing that you keep love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control in your spirit to guide your actions daily (Galatians 5:22-23). Sleep knowing that every opinion formed about you is only a piece of you. That piece of you is miniscule compared to the seconds you will spend with the ones who will love you for who you are. I’m not certain who you will become baby girl, but when people tell me now that you are like your mommy, I smile and say a prayer. The smile is because I know you will be amazing at whatever path you take in life, and the prayer is that you seek out wisdom and hold tight to her. That wisdom will keep you from ever feeling doubt when someone calls you something that you know you are not. And, that wisdom will keep you from repeating your mommy’s mistakes. You will make your own mistakes in life. But, don’t ever let your mistakes be the ones you made because you acted in any other way than the way YOU would choose to act. Because, in the end, it’s only you who will have to live with the consequences or rewards of your actions. Don’t live a life of results that are all based on someone who has only known you for 30 seconds saying, “you’re mean.”
