Change

Accountability 101


When things go wrong in life, as an adult, we figure it out. When things go wrong in life, as a child, we look to our parents. As a child, we are not expected to figure out the hard things. we are only expected to be a child. Sleeping, playing, learning, growing, and eating a vegetable every now and then – the good life, right?!

We all grow up, and with adulting comes accountability. We become accountable for our actions whether they are right or wrong. We are taught to tell the truth, and that what we do when no one is looking matters. Somehow in all of our daily walks in life we forget. We forget that we have to be accountable for our own actions or inaction, even if no one is there to remind us of what is right or wrong.

The problem with not remembering to hold ourselves accountable is that we allow ourselves to make excuses for the actions or lack there of in our lives. It starts with a commitment to do something. Day one, great! Day two, momentum is still there. Day four, a struggle – but still committed. Day 10, why are you even doing this? Day 14, give up. The cycle continues, because every time there is a push within for change, something has to happen to force that change.

We are not meant to simply grow up, and stay the same from whatever age it is that people think they have arrived at, for life. Life doesn’t work that way. However, it can. It can work out that way, if we allow our selves to stunt our growth with excuses. It can work out that way, if we stop holding ourselves accountable. Imagine how your life would be if no one expected anything from you, including yourself. Imagine if you only did the things you wanted to do, and only when you wanted to do them. Sounds like a very selfish and lonely life. And, I can only imagine how healthy mentally and physically you would be living this way.

Take account for your actions today and everyday. We all seem to move away from this concept when there is no one there to point out what we are or are not doing. It doesn’t matter whether or not someone else will hold you to something. It matters whether or not you will hold yourself to your own actions. We all have goals and dreams. Some of us will hold ourselves to personal growth, and some of us will make excuses and bury our talents in the sand. You see, without accountability, we aren’t able to fulfill the purpose God has for us. There is a purpose on each of our lives. Sometimes we forget to listen to the small voice inside that is holding us to a different standard, because it sounds like something you’ve never heard or done before. Know that all the talent you need is already there to accomplish your purpose. It may just be buried under all the excuses and sand. Let today be a day where you hold yourself accountable for every action you take today. Mentally shift your thoughts with a sand shake off. See yourself buried in the sand. Then, see yourself trying to lift your legs and arms to get up from the sand. Finally, see yourself breaking free from the sand. Watch as all the sand is removed, falling to the ground, freeing you. Every talent within you is at your disposal. Shake the sand off, and take on your purpose one day at a time.

 

 

Advertisements

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself…

Hello Mug

The Skinny Plus needs to be reintroduced! The blog has been silent for so long, and in this silence I’ve been taking time to sort things out with the direction of this wonderful blog. The key word is “I.” I’ve been trying to figure out the next move, what to do, and questioning how to transition this blog into something greater. I’ve been doing all this thinking, but I’ve gotten no where in the silence. I’ve gotten no where, but I’ve continued to hear a voice inside say, “just begin again.” I’ve heard that same voice say, “just start.” My moments of prayer have lead to me hearing God say these things, but shortly after I heard… I questioned. I asked: “what am I going to write about, what if no one wants to read the things I write about now, what if I can’t encourage anyone, what if people see all my flaws, can I really start again without a new logo or a new site, how can I write about the hard things when I haven’t overcome some of them in my own life, and so on and so on.

These questions have flooded my mind every time I sit down and get ready to write. Naturally, after I go through all the doubt in my head, I leave another draft unfinished. Days have gone by. Weeks and months have passed. I have felt that during all this time, I have done nothing but question the talent that God gave to me. Each day that passes, I bury my talents in the ground waiting for that perfect moment. I wait, and I wait, and I wait. Each day that I have waited, is a day that my perfect moment passes. I could not tell anyone exactly what I was waiting for, because the perfect moment I was waiting for was unattainable. If you have ever been around someone who has an excuse for every solution given to start something, you know exactly what I mean by saying my perfect moment was unattainable. I would have moments of clarity that supported the need to start The Skinny Plus again; and they would range from comments of encouragement from my husband, to a co-worker saying an encouraging word, and to random individuals making a comment about something written ages ago. Nonetheless, I still had an excuse to support my continued silence on this platform.

IMG_3743

The feeling that you are and need to be doing something greater than what you are doing, but doing nothing is the most frustrating feeling ever! This feeling is what I had been feeling over and over again. I was still stuck in my head, and I was still trying to figure out the perfect plan. I have since left “I” behind, because truth be told… I don’t know everything, but I do know how to live! I do know that we all have to give God something to bless in this world. If we don’t put forth effort, even in our moments of doubt, He has absolutely nothing to work with. I intend to keep living, to gain experience and wisdom to add to The Skinny Plus and to my little world. I pray that The Skinny Plus becomes little pieces of somethings that God can bless and make into big things that impact our families, women, and children for years to come. Our purpose is not to simply wake up, work, and die. We are meant for so much more! Allow me to reintroduce myself: This is The Skinny Plus. A blog that WILL be transformed into something more that will empower our women and families, and will bring light into this world. Please follow me on this journey, and I hope each of you start your own journey too!

 

 

Resolution Re-Start

The end of February is here, and by now, you are realizing that your resolution to (insert anything about working out and being healthy) is pretty much nonexistent. Trust me, I’m not the resolution type, but I had every intention on being more proactive when it came to working out and eating healthier. Thanks to Panera for providing me with a free bagel a day for the month of February, I’ve been on carb overload. And, let’s not forget the hazelnut cream cheese with that bagel! It is a must! I’ve been living on carbs and sugars all month… naturally, I haven’t been my usual self.

I started noticing changes when I started having a hard time waking up in the morning. I was always tired, and the usual coffee boost was just not enough anymore. I started to get frustrated with myself for being so lazy. But, I never changed any of the poor decisions I was making daily when it came to eating or physical activity.

Today, while I ran errands this morning with our daughter, I did notice a change. The past week had been one of my busiest weeks. But, I wasn’t as sluggish as I had been. I was waking up in the morning without so much effort. My daughter and I were both dressed and out the door both days this weekend before 8:30 am. That’s correct! We were in target on a Saturday morning before 9:00 am, and I had not had one drop of coffee.

The difference between this past couple of weeks and the others was that I had started to implement some small habits that I had not been doing before. I didn’t think much of these changes, but I  started them anyway thinking, “doing something is better than nothing.”

First, I started back drinking Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar with the Mother in the morning and evening. I do not put a lot of effort into the measurements. I take a shot glass from our cabinet, pour the ACV in it, and then pour this wonderfulness into a glass of cold water. I drink this as I would anything else. I go about my morning routine while sipping on this drink. I do the same in the evening while making dinner. My hubby knocks it back in one shot, and drinks water after. It’s pretty bitter and strong stuff, so start small and go from there. I would advise diluting it with water and a little honey.

Next, I stopped drinking so much coffee. Seriously, I could easily average about one full coffee pot a day. I did not stop on purpose. I was just so busy that I could never get to the kitchen to refill my cup as much as I normally did.

I started back taking some key supplements that were helpful in the past. I know that people say taking a multivitamin is great, but sometimes your body needs a little more. My metabolism definitely changed after I entered into my 30’s. Knowing this, I started back taking 7-Keto with DHEA to help with my metabolism. I also added White Kidney Bean back to my supplement rotation to help metabolize all the carbs, fats, and sugars I was taking in. 

 

Finally, I implemented one of my favorite detox drinks. I drink a lot of wine from time to time. Sometimes I put some spirits in rotation too. But, I always feel the effects much worse than I did before when I have a little too much. This liver detox drink has been a go to for me, and it almost always has an effect within an hour or sooner. I drink this mid-day, and just sip on it while going about my day.

  
   
 Even though I haven’t been as good to my body as I should, I am taking these small steps toward being a little happier and healthier. This week, I hope to get back to it in the gym. I hope that these little tidbits help you guys get back on track for the New Year. It is only February! You’ve still got 10 months until the next New Year. Everyday is a new day to start all over. FYI: your skin will be amazing after a week or so of just drinking the ACV and taking a hair, skin, and nail supplement alone!

 

 

A Little Motivation

Your Body Hears

My intentions for the New Year were to be more dedicated to blogging. It’s still January. However, I do feel that I have fallen behind. My hope is that this little page of mine can be a little piece of positivity for someone out there. This blog is a space to share what little wisdom I’ve learned in this short life of mine, and a space for me to reset.

Today, I truly needed a reset. Have you ever just had a day where you wish you could just rewind and start again? The problem with wishing for something like that, is that nothing would really change. We are who we are, and if we don’t change the person, the end result will ultimately be the same. You may think you would choose door #2 the next time, but you wouldn’t.

Then, there comes a day when you actually want to pick another door. You want a different outcome, and the only way to do that is to change something. Change is you becoming different in some way. Change can happen in your attitude. Change can happen in your eating habits. Change can happen in your efforts to work out. Change can happen in a number of ways, but we all have to change to grow. I’ve chosen to really start back working out, and to change how I respond to things that I ultimately can’t change. I have been so sluggish lately, and I’ve gained weight… enough to make me uncomfortable. Honestly, I’ve looked at myself and have said some pretty bad things about this body. I can preach body positivity all day long, but if I am unhappy, I have to do something about it. I would suggest the same to anyone else.

There is a clear difference in being happy in your body, than being unhappy because someone else made you feel that way. Most of the time, women are simply unhappy because we are constantly comparing ourselves to what some other woman, ad, magazine, or man has said is the picture of beauty. That unhappiness is unhealthy, and sometimes we let these things do a good job of making us feel insecure in own perfect bodies.

My need to change comes from an evaluation of myself, and a comparison to my own standards. And, today was the worst. I had so much on my mind. I had to motivate myself to do a 30 minute workout. The 30 minute workout was by far one of my worst and slowest. Everything just seemed to be off.  I got off the elliptical and started beating myself up from that point forward. I kept thinking, “why didn’t you do an extra 10 minutes? Why didn’t you go harder? You will never lose this extra weight?” I kept thinking all the negative things, and totally forgot about the positive.

I forgot that I was actually blessed to see another day. I forgot to be thankful for my little family at home. I forgot to be supportive of myself in the fact that I actually did go workout, instead of just turning around and having another day of drinking wine. I forgot to think on the good, and I let my mind focus only on the bad. And, honestly, I forgot to love myself today. We can have all the good intentions and want to change for whatever reasons in whatever areas. But, change will never be permanent, if you can’t love the person you are trying to be. Love yourself today, and everyday! I hope this is a little motivation for someone.

In the Midst of A Self-Hate Attack Storm with Nothing to Wear!

I was in the midst of a real rut last week, and felt like I had nothing to wear! I went to the closet and looked, and looked, and looked some more… I just kept flipping through each dress, skirt, shirt, blouse, etc. until I just gave up. I had to make a decision! Our baby girl will only sit quietly and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so long while mommy gets dressed in the mornings.

I was in a dark place, some of you may know this place, where you are feeling so down about your body and appearance that you just can’t see the good right in front of you. I only had nothing to wear because I was in the midst of a self-hate attack! It’s hard to pull out of a self-hate attack. How can you pull yourself out of something that you think is true in that moment? I felt like I didn’t look like the image of myself that I had idealized in my head. The funny thing is that I couldn’t tell you what image that was! I just kept looking in the mirror and thinking, “this looks horrible!”

The mind is a powerful thing. Your thoughts have the power to make you believe that you just aren’t good enough some days, and they have the power to make you believe you can take over the world some days! Normally, I have more days where I believe I can take over the world, than the days like the one I was having last week. Finally, I took a step back in the mirror to just see me. I had on a dress that I had worn earlier this summer. I looked back at a picture of myself with the dress on, and tried to see what made today different from a month or so ago… I had gained weight. I hadn’t noticed it in my day to day comings and goings, but I had gained about 15 lbs, and all of it seemed to be in my belly. So, the dress that once looked great, looked horrible because of my bigger belly.

I don’t know about you, but once I know the root of an issue, I can handle any problem! It was like my rut was over! I went back to my closet, picked up a black ASOS skirt that I loved, and just slid it over the dress to see what the end result would be. Like magic, my mood instantly changed and the day could go on! My belly was no longer the focus, and my outfit was complete – just in time too! I had a little munchkin standing at our bedroom door within seconds of the Hot Dog song ending.

I hate that I went to that place of self-hate with myself, because I am constantly trying to promote self-love and body confidence. I guess it was necessary for me to see something I needed to change. If being the best you, means re-shifting back to a more active and healthier you, then do it! I know that is the case for me. I have worked out on and off about 3 times a week, but I can’t say that everything I have put in my body has been in moderation… everything that I have put in my body has not been good, either! I’ve been feeding my body junk, and in turn I have been feeling less than myself. I know that I can change that feeling now, and simply slide a little black skirt over my troubles, until I get it back together!

Blog B&WBlog Leyah - Blue and Black