My intentions for the New Year were to be more dedicated to blogging. It’s still January. However, I do feel that I have fallen behind. My hope is that this little page of mine can be a little piece of positivity for someone out there. This blog is a space to share what little wisdom I’ve learned in this short life of mine, and a space for me to reset.
Today, I truly needed a reset. Have you ever just had a day where you wish you could just rewind and start again? The problem with wishing for something like that, is that nothing would really change. We are who we are, and if we don’t change the person, the end result will ultimately be the same. You may think you would choose door #2 the next time, but you wouldn’t.
Then, there comes a day when you actually want to pick another door. You want a different outcome, and the only way to do that is to change something. Change is you becoming different in some way. Change can happen in your attitude. Change can happen in your eating habits. Change can happen in your efforts to work out. Change can happen in a number of ways, but we all have to change to grow. I’ve chosen to really start back working out, and to change how I respond to things that I ultimately can’t change. I have been so sluggish lately, and I’ve gained weight… enough to make me uncomfortable. Honestly, I’ve looked at myself and have said some pretty bad things about this body. I can preach body positivity all day long, but if I am unhappy, I have to do something about it. I would suggest the same to anyone else.
There is a clear difference in being happy in your body, than being unhappy because someone else made you feel that way. Most of the time, women are simply unhappy because we are constantly comparing ourselves to what some other woman, ad, magazine, or man has said is the picture of beauty. That unhappiness is unhealthy, and sometimes we let these things do a good job of making us feel insecure in own perfect bodies.
My need to change comes from an evaluation of myself, and a comparison to my own standards. And, today was the worst. I had so much on my mind. I had to motivate myself to do a 30 minute workout. The 30 minute workout was by far one of my worst and slowest. Everything just seemed to be off. I got off the elliptical and started beating myself up from that point forward. I kept thinking, “why didn’t you do an extra 10 minutes? Why didn’t you go harder? You will never lose this extra weight?” I kept thinking all the negative things, and totally forgot about the positive.
I forgot that I was actually blessed to see another day. I forgot to be thankful for my little family at home. I forgot to be supportive of myself in the fact that I actually did go workout, instead of just turning around and having another day of drinking wine. I forgot to think on the good, and I let my mind focus only on the bad. And, honestly, I forgot to love myself today. We can have all the good intentions and want to change for whatever reasons in whatever areas. But, change will never be permanent, if you can’t love the person you are trying to be. Love yourself today, and everyday! I hope this is a little motivation for someone.