You’re Gonna Be Great… Hopefully…

I really wanted to have an excuse for a shopping trip this weekend. But, I kept reading and seeing everything under the sun that had to do with family, working moms, becoming a parent, and all those other things that give you warm fuzzy feelings inside – and bring life into prospective. I do not have a clear perspective on life, but I do know that becoming a parent really forces a person to figure out what is really important and what is not. Number One: The child is always the most important! Sounds crazy, because we read and see tons of articles and videos that say take care of you, the marriage, your health, your career, etc. Those things are not wrong. You truly have to take care of you to be the best parent to your child.

I saw a post on LinkedIn by Betty Liu, News Anchor – Bloomberg Television. She wrote about what helps her be a “happy, balanced working mother.” I have read this article at least 5 times since Friday. I keep reading it, because of this one line: “I have near zero guilt about being a working mom.” It just baffled me that someone actually put it out there for people to see. Then, I realized, I totally feel her on this! I wanted to just give Betty the hands raised in celebration emoji x5! If you just saw the sentence without the rest of the article, it may seem so harsh. But, read the entire post, and then you’ll get it (This Crazy Thing Helps Me Be a Happy, Balanced Working Mother)!

I was so ready to get back to work after having our daughter, I was almost ready to run back to work! I even got the, “we weren’t expecting you back for like a few weeks,” from a person at our corporate office. The best me, was and is a career driven me. If I’m not working on something, I kind of feel lost. I’ve since changed jobs, and moved into a role that requires more leadership, more time, and is overall ten times more demanding. And, I did it knowing full well that maybe our future will hold the opportunity for another little one. *gasp! I’m sure there are women that try to plan their careers around their family planning, and sometimes that just can’t be done. We plan, and God is like: “No, I totally have something better for you. But, while it’s happening, you won’t think it was better. But, in the end, you’ll see! Thank me later!”

I am not saying I never have any guilt, but I don’t feel like I have the same amount that I hear women talk about. I love my munchkin, and wouldn’t trade her for anything. She’s really too little to understand now, but as she grows, I do want to explain to her why mommy works. I hope that she feels empowered, and knows the importance of working hard to achieve whatever success she is working toward. I hope that as she grows, she sees that you can truly have the best of both worlds. Sure, there are and will be compromises. But, if you are sure of what you are doing, and are happy in your choices, you will not be left with a feeling of guilt or anxiousness at the end of the day. Side note: acceptance of what is, is a good meditation mantra. If you don’t meditate, try it!

I’m truly grateful. I am grateful that I do have a wealth of resources around me, which make it easier to try to take on the world (my little world). I have a husband who is loving and supportive. We are both just trying to figure it out, and trying to be the best parents we can be. We both have dreams and professional goals. Our baby girl has not one, but two, sets of grandparents within a 15 mile radius. We operate on a schedule. Naps and bedtime are routine. I have learned to relax, and I know for sure that what I do maybe the best to someone, and the worst to someone else – as said in the video in this blog. As with this post, it maybe the best to some and the worst to others. But, I just hope that it puts a working mom’s mind at ease.

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One comment

  1. I’m a working momma, and truth be told, it’s all about aptitude, personality and personal preference. I stayed home with my daughter for 10 months and I loved spending time with her. And then there were days when I didn’t get out of the house much and I began to really crave adult interaction. Honestly, I love my daughter and would do anything for her but I knew my personality and preference was that she was getting a tired, depressed and short-tempered mommy. Not fair to her at all.

    It was a transition when she started day care. I couldn’t have picked a worse time — PMS the week before I started my job and I dropped her off at day care and visited her several times. It hurt so bad to see her cry and I realized that the transition couldn’t happen overnight.

    It did actually take about a month. But now fast forward almost 6 months and she is having a blast at daycare hanging out with kids her age, eats all kinds of food, and it SO excited to see me when she comes home or I pick her up. I really enjoy being around her in the evenings, and she still knows that I am her mommy. Weekends are that much more fun, we sleep in and bring her in our bed for extra snuggles. If it works out, we’ll take an afternoon nap together.

    But what works for me may not work for another momma. And that’s okay. It really is okay. I’m not any less of a mom, and I shouldn’t be shamed or made to feel guilty, because I choose to be a working mom. I’m with you 100% on that it’s not that I don’t feel ANY guilt because that’s not true. There are days when I’d rather stay home just looking at her sweet face, I’m not going to lie. But I’m not overwhelmed with guilt either. That’s not healthy and an unhappy, unhealthy mommy equals hard times.

    We are enjoying the extra income, and our family has everything we need and we can now go on vacations and do things that we couldn’t on a much much tighter budget on one income.

    In the end, it’s about making sure momma is happy because the saying is very true, if momma ain’t happy, nobody is happy!

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