There was a point in my life where I became overly concerned with how I came across to other people. I slowly started to adjust my responses to make sure I was not offending. I started over thinking every single word that came out of my mouth to people that really needed no justification of my actions or my life. My life became more difficult, because I was trying to make life less difficult for everyone else. That makes no sense, right? But, who wants to be called mean when you are just straight forward? Who wants to be labeled as difficult, when you simply question the laws that need to be put to the test every now and then? Who wants to be called something that they know they aren’t? I don’t think anyone does, but it will happen. So, when I talk to my daughter later on in life, I imagine I would say something like this:
Everyone forms their own opinion of you whether it is right or wrong. Usually, it takes 30 seconds for someone to form an opinion about someone. It’s hard to agree with opinions, because there is no way we can truly know someone in 30 seconds. These are the opinions that are the hardest to change, and no matter what… that person will think what they think – and feel how they feel.
So, be grateful for the people that have known you for more than 30 seconds of your life; the ones who have seen you at your worst and at your best; the ones who know you at your core, and still love you. Everyone isn’t going to like you, and that is ok. So sleep at night knowing that you keep love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control in your spirit to guide your actions daily (Galatians 5:22-23). Sleep knowing that every opinion formed about you is only a piece of you. That piece of you is miniscule compared to the seconds you will spend with the ones who will love you for who you are. I’m not certain who you will become baby girl, but when people tell me now that you are like your mommy, I smile and say a prayer. The smile is because I know you will be amazing at whatever path you take in life, and the prayer is that you seek out wisdom and hold tight to her. That wisdom will keep you from ever feeling doubt when someone calls you something that you know you are not. And, that wisdom will keep you from repeating your mommy’s mistakes. You will make your own mistakes in life. But, don’t ever let your mistakes be the ones you made because you acted in any other way than the way YOU would choose to act. Because, in the end, it’s only you who will have to live with the consequences or rewards of your actions. Don’t live a life of results that are all based on someone who has only known you for 30 seconds saying, “you’re mean.”