My husband and I are pretty serious about our date nights. I definitely believe that we need that time to unwind and just be adults instead of parents all the time. We went out the day after Valentine’s Day, and everywhere was still packed this time around! I guess everyone else had the same idea.
I know each and ever parent struggles with the balance of home, work, parenting, and relationship building. It can be so very hard!How can it not be, it’s hard to just get out of the daily check list routine:
- Bottles for daycare
- Food prep
- Laundry (who cares if it’s folded… it’s clean isn’t it??)
- Who’s picking her up from daycare
- What’s for dinner
- Appointments (is it already time for that 4 month check up??)
- Grocery store list
- Cleaning – yea… that dust has been there for a month now!
- Bills – Oops! I forgot to pay another one on time!!!
- Gym… I guess
Bah!!! The list goes on and on…. And, most of the time our relationships with our partners suffer. I remember Giuliana Rancic coming out and saying that her and her husband put their marriage first and their child second. A number of people criticized this without truly thinking about it. I can’t say I disagree with her one bit. It is very unhealthy to solely depend on your baby to provide you with fulfillment in life. This is primarily why relationships where a baby is brought into the picture to hopefully “fix” the relationship still fail. Both you and your partner have to be in tune with one another, and even after baby, that connection can’t be lost. A solid marriage is the best foundation you can give your baby, because that little one will definitely benefit and learn more from parents that are happily connected than from parents that are disconnected.
Date nights are definitely the best for my husband and I. Even the few moments at night when we just have some time together throughout the week work well! It’s kind of like a daily check in, because I definitely get consumed in parenting during the week. I don’t know about anyone else, but after work I go into auto pilot. It’s workout, pick baby up, feed baby, clean baby, put baby to sleep, clean kitchen, fix bottles for the next day, food prep for next day, and finally shower and sleep to do it all over again the next day. And, somehow dinner is cooked in the middle of all that.
The times where my husband and I have had a big disconnect, are the times where we both notice we haven’t had time just for us. A date doesn’t have to be much either. Stay within your means, and make it special to the two of you. I’m sure relatives or friends will come to your side to care for your little one a few hours. If not, save up cash for a sitter that day or night. That time together can be planned and done, it just takes effort. If you aren’t willing to put in the effort to keep the relationship going, then you and your partner should be having a totally different conversation… I’m just saying!
Love, live, and never regret!